Don’t take it all on. You can’t afford to.
I recently reflected on the fact that if I donated money to every worthy cause that needs it, not only would I be flat broke but I’d also be in mountains of debt.
This financial scenario extends to the self as well. Giving headspace, attention and care to every instance of suffering and injustice that pops up on a social feed or on the news may damage you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and perhaps even physically (they’re all connected).
Not only would you be confounded and negated by the sheer immensity of the burden, you would also be ineffectual in making a meaningful contribution to resolve those seemingly endless issues.
So, should we limit our headspace, attention and care to ourselves and those within our households? I don’t think so at all. Our contributions are needed within our communities and the wider world, notwithstanding our inability to contribute meaningfully to every issue.
What to care about, then? This is a question of great significance with several dimensions to it. It’s akin to the question ‘who can I serve?’, which is central to creating a life of purpose, meaning and fulfilment.
In writing this, I’m certainly not immune to becoming distracted by issues that are beyond my purview and capacity. But I do have the principles and tools necessary to get back on track pretty quickly.
The central principle that I apply is stewardship.
I define stewardship as:
Voluntarily taking responsibility to care for someone (or something) for their benefit and for the greater good.
Care is central to stewardship. But it’s a meaningful, proactive form of care, which goes well beyond fretting about the state of the world in reaction to the latest trigger on twitter.
Stewardship-based care involves an iterative three-stage process that aligns with the values of the individual:
Learn: Consciously decide what to care about through connecting with your values and then developing the skills necessary to make meaningful contributions
Build: Create something through which you can make meaningful contributions, which might include some form of personal transformation in building yourself
Contribute: Get to work in making contributions that are going to have a meaningful impact in relation to what you’ve consciously decided to care about
While it may feel instinctively ‘right’ to give your headspace and attention to every example of suffering and injustice you encounter, it’s far more sustainable (and, I’d argue, more virtuous) to make more meaningful contributions in addressing specific issues that you’ve consciously chosen to dedicate your attention and care to.
You simply can’t afford to take on everything yourself.
Need help with any of the above? If so, drop me a line: tom@3stewardships.com.