Compare Yourself With Previous Iterations of Yourself.

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago, I was dealing with the aftermath of a failed start-up that I had co-founded. It was a time of sadness, uncertainty, even heartbreak. I carried the can for winding up the business alone, wondering what the bigger picture was while eking out a living in the world of self-employment with a wife who was studying full-time at university. Those were difficult days.

I felt like no one else around me could understand my predicament or my pain. I remember being overwhelmed by emotion when at church one Sunday I was asked to read the following passage of scripture from the book of Isaiah on Christ:

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

– Isaiah 53:3-5 (KJV)

The pain, loneliness and ostracisation of Christ strongly resonated with me.

In time I came to realise that many who actively pursue the breadcrumbs along the road less traveled – that of their undeniably unique spiritual journey – experience similar depths at some point. (It tends to be part of a powerful programme of learning, growth and transcendence.)

But just as Christ arose from the depths that he experienced – to greater heights, for a higher purpose – so can we. That doesn’t happen by default, though.

Five Years Ago

As I was setting up the YouTube channel for the Real Clear Values podcast earlier this week, I stumbled upon a video I recorded five years ago in which I spoke about the failure of my start-up. I looked haunted, sad, and traumatised. Looking back, I felt greater compassion for myself than I did at the time. 

But it wouldn’t be right to say that my experience of watching my former self speak was a sad one. Instead, it was gratifying to see how far I’ve come since that point in time, as I’ve committed to ongoing personal transformation.

I no longer feel any sense of sadness, shame or remorse about the failed start-up – I recognise it as a vital and valuable learning experience. My self-worth isn’t tethered to failure or achievement – I have a much greater sense of my identity and purpose. And I’m moving forward consistently and sustainably, with a much greater appreciation of the value of sufficiency over excess. I’ll call that significant progress.

The Best Person to Compare Yourself to

The serendipitous experience of stumbling upon that old video has reminded me that the best person to compare myself to is myself – who I was ten years ago, five years ago, and even a month ago. Each iteration of myself is further along the road than the one before. And each iteration marks a notable improvement. My transformation is ongoing, continuous, and ever may it be so.

This time ten years ago, I wasn’t just dealing with the aftermath of a failed start-up; I was learning how to be a better version of myself. And so the learning continues.

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If you would like to create a life of purpose, meaning and fulfilment in your own pursuit of sustainable success then drop me a line: tom@3stewardships.com.