The Transformational Power of Repentance.
What feels worse than knowing you’re on the wrong path, selling yourself short, heading in the wrong direction and that you’ve got no one to blame but yourself?
I experienced this feeling as I approached the end of my secondary education, a critical time in applying for university. I had taken my eye off the ball and allowed myself to underplay the challenge in front of me.
I still remember a conversation I had with Mrs Kirkham, my favourite teacher, who showed me how far off the pace I was when she returned an assignment to me. I felt so ashamed by the extent to which I was letting myself down that I actually cried! It was an unexpected reaction to the admonition, both on my part and that of Mrs Kirkham – she certainly didn’t intend to make me cry.
But it was the best possible reprimand that I could have received at that point in time. I knew that what she was saying was true – I was capable of so much more! And I needed to get my act together in pretty short order if I was going to get the grades necessary for acceptance into a top university.
The emotion I felt in that conversation was a catalyst for change within me: I experienced remorse for my previous choices and trajectory, acknowledged that I could, and should, make much better effort, and then firmly committed to do so.
Planning the work
All things considered, I needed to get an A in the subject in question to qualify for the courses that I’d applied for. At that point I was on course for a C or D! I had plenty of work to do, so I made a plan.
There were three primary components to my plan:
I would learn the entire course syllabus, going far beyond what was covered in class;
I would create a robust study schedule that would maximise my effective study time, ensuring that I made the most of the remaining time before my exams (I didn’t have long left!);
I would create an environment that was entirely dedicated to my studies, away from screens and other distractions.
Having made this plan and fully committed to it, my feelings soon started to shift from those of shame and remorse to empowerment and excitement instead. I had a big challenge in front of me, but I was going to move heaven and earth to achieve it! My attitude was one of ‘bring it on’ rather than ‘woe is me’. I was in control of my future – it was all on me. And I was going to step up and deliver.
Working the plan
I created new habits – physical and mental. I made my dedicated study space a fortress where no distractions would be permitted. I created a rigorous study plan, never missing a single study session. (That wasn’t easy in the middle of a World Cup!)
When things were challenging, or distraction came to my door (sometimes literally), I reminded myself of my aspiration of being accepted into a top university. I also remembered how I felt the day Mrs Kirkham held a mirror up to where I was, showing me how far behind I’d slipped! That experience, though not by any means definitive of my ability or character, was a valuable thorn in the flesh that drove me forward alongside my aspiration.
The more ‘reps’ I did in my study habit, the more I started to enjoy it. I started to look forward to my study sessions, which were highly intellectually stimulating, and genuinely enjoy the journey itself.
Winning through the plan
Exams can be daunting. They ask you the question, are you ready or not? And if not, there’s no more time to prepare – the time has come for you to demonstrate your level of competence.
But because of the preparation I’d done, I didn’t feel daunted in the least. There was no reliance on luck or guesswork – I actually enjoyed sitting the exams. I usually offer a silent prayer at the beginning of an exam; in this case I was offering a silent prayer of thanks at the end of the exam! I was confident that I’d done enough to get the A that I needed.
As the cherry on top, confirmation of that A grade came when I received my results in the post: a score of 100/105 in one exam and 92/105 in another. Quite a turnaround to say that I was on course for a C or D only a matter of weeks before that! I was accepted into all the universities I applied to.
The uncomfortable conversation that I’d had with Mrs Kirkham had empowered me to apply a timeless principle in personal transformation: repentance.
Repentance: A key that will never rust
Repentance is one of the most powerful, yet most misunderstood, principles that is taught within religious contexts. It isn’t about self-flagellation or dressing in sackcloth and ashes to publicly demonstrate shame; it’s simply about course correction. And it’s highly valuable in any context involving people.
Repentance isn’t about living in shame; it’s about critical course correction
As religious leader Russell M. Nelson pointed out in a talk, “The word for repentance in the Greek New Testament is metanoeo. The prefix meta- means “change.” The suffix -noeo is related to Greek words that mean “mind,” “knowledge,” “spirit,” and “breath.”” As a compound, metanoeo speaks to deep change in both thought and behaviour.
Who doesn’t need to change how they think and behave? Which individual or business can say that they never need to correct their course? Repentance, then, isn’t a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing habit to drive ongoing personal and organisational transformation.
From my experience with Mrs Kirkham, I went through the following stages of the repentance process:
Acknowledgment: With Mrs Kirkham’s guidance I was able to acknowledge that I was on the wrong track and that change was necessary in order to achieve the desired outcome;
Commitment to change: The feelings that came from acknowledging that I was on the wrong track were unpleasant and invoked a strong desire within me to change – a powerful and crucial stimulus;
Charting a new course: In order to achieve my desired outcome, I had to chart a new course that resolved the errors within my previous path;
Making restitution for past mistakes: It was important that my new course took into account my need to make restitution for previous missteps, which in my case meant that I needed to learn the course syllabus for the entire year;
Walking the path: Plan the work and work the plan! As I consistently followed my new path, I transformed my habits and, ultimately, my results. In that respect I found redemption through repentance.
As you can see from my experience with Mrs Kirkham, the application and value of repentance as a principle is universal. It can apply to contexts far beyond the religious contexts within which it is most commonly associated.
Repentance empowers transformation. Far from requiring a person to wallow in shame and remorse, repentance encourages people to use those negative feelings to good effect as powerful stimuli for meaningful and lasting change. Soon enough, those feelings will be history and recollections of them may even raise a smile in retrospective consideration of their pivotal role in the transformation process.
Repentance: A road less travelled
As powerful as it is, repentance is not an easy path to take. It’s often a road less travelled.
It requires integrity – admitting that you’ve made a mistake or were on the wrong path instead of simply deceiving yourself to protect your ego. (Imagine if I’d told Mrs Kirkham where to go when she showed me my shortcomings!)
It also requires humility – acknowledging that you need help along the way when charting a new course and walking a new path.
It requires forgiveness – forgiving yourself for previous missteps and not allowing yourself to stay stuck in shame and remorse, which hinder repentance and progress.
And it requires faith – a hope in things not seen, which are true. If I hadn’t had the faith that I could turnaround my performance and get the A grade then I wouldn’t have even tried. There would have been no repentance, no A grade and certainly no acceptance into the universities that I applied to.
At the heart of the entire process is stewardship – voluntarily taking on the responsibility to care. No care, no consequence. Mrs Kirkham couldn’t force me to care about my grade; I had to make that choice myself.
The experience I shared here is just one of many that I’ve had with the powerful, universal principle of repentance in both my personal and professional life. It’s a habit that empowers me to live in a state of continuous transformation. Through it, I am able to learn more, do more and be more, reaching new heights along the way. It’s a truly incredible principle that plays a significant role in my mentoring programme.
If you’d like to learn more about how the principle of repentance can transform your life then drop me a line to arrange a free 30-minute call: tom@3stewardships.com.
I look forward to hearing from you.