Reconnecting With God. (What I didn’t mention in my TEDx Talk.)

It was undoubtedly one of the most pivotal evenings of my life. The evening after feeling the full brunt of my realisation that I was living a nihilistic life will be etched into my memory forever. Whilst the darkness that I’d been living with reached its nadir on the Saturday, Sunday was a day of unparalleled and near instantaneous redemption. This is the part of my transformation story that I didn’t mention in my TEDx Talk. And it’s vital.

The morning after a despair-filled Saturday night, I decided to go to the church service in my hometown; going home to recalibrate myself as best I could. The Sunday school class was taught by Mike, who my sister had introduced my to immediately upon my return from Madagascar (cf. Real Clear Values podcast episode 6 of season 1). I had half a mind to talk to him about my predicament, though wasn’t fully convinced. I felt awkward about starting the conversation, about admitting my weakness and asking for help.

After church, I remember reading a passage from the book of Matthew in the New Testament (unfortunately, I can’t remember exactly where) and it spoke to me in such a manner at that particular time that it seemed to directly instruct me to call Mike. The prompting I had to take that course of action was unmistakable, so I buckled up and gave him a call.

The Question

Mike was relaxed and welcoming when I spoke with him on the phone, which made me feel a little more relaxed. I had to swallow some pride in order to make the call; doing so was well outside of my comfort zone. We agreed a time that I would visit him that evening. When I arrived, Mike was in the kitchen cooking (one of his favourite pastimes), so his wife, Julie, showed me into the lounge where we would talk.

I remember talking through my situation with him, how I’d become lost in the fog of student life after my life as a missionary in Madagascar. He only spoke to ask questions, listening intently to my answers. Then, when I told him about a very unexpected and profound spiritual experience I’d had when meeting a church leader shortly before leaving for Madagascar, he asked me, “Is that why you still go to church?”

It might sound like a fairly simple, innocuous question, but it was laser-focused on both my problem and the solution to that problem. I had, essentially, become so distracted that the only things that kept me interested in retaining my faith were spiritual experiences that I’d had years before. In the meantime, I’d become disconnected from God.

The Blessing

Having asked me the question and observed my subsequent rumination and response, Mike declared that I was now ready to receive a blessing. (The blessing had been my primary request of him.) There were several things about that blessing that were incredible, not least the fact that he was repeating things that had been told to me about my life’s mission in a blessing that I’d received from an entirely different, unconnected person when I was 16. It was a blessing that was uniquely for me, but in many respects it echoed one that I’d heard before, as though originating from the same divine source.

But the commonalities between two blessings that were separated by time, place and people weren’t the most powerful part of the experience. The most powerful, life-changing aspect of it was a single phrase: “God loves you.” When Mike uttered those words with his hands placed on top of my head, I felt what I can only describe as a deep warmth throughout my entire body, mind and soul. I had never felt anything like it before and I was overwhelmed with emotion. It was perhaps the realest thing that I’ve ever experienced.

I had grown up being taught at church that God loves all his children, but this was entirely different. That phrase, and the feeling that it induced, gave me hope that I’d never had before. It was redemptive. And it was real. I knew that God’s love for me was unconditional; he loved me in spite of my wandering and my mistakes; and he was inviting me to return to the path that he specifically had for me in order to do the work that was mine to do. Repentance wasn’t a process of self-flagellation and shame but a process of empowerment and reconnection with divinity.

The Beginnings of Transformation

At the conclusion of the blessing, I embraced Mike as a brother. I was a new man, desperate to get back on track and back to work. I couldn’t start soon enough. The next day I wrote an entire essay from start to finish as part of my Masters degree. I got a distinction for it, such was the uptick in my overall being and performance.

I’m not going to pretend that that was the end of the story in this particular transformation – there was plenty more for me to address and do at a practical level – but spirituality preceded practicality. 

As I recently wrote, my disconnection from divinity in a world full of distractions, temptations and challenges following my time as a missionary in Madagascar had been gradual. Reconnection, however, seemed to come in a comparative instant. There was more to it than that, of course, but suffice it to say that those who have strayed from their path and purpose need not take an inordinate amount of time getting back on track if they have the right guide. Mike was the right guide for me.

Gratitude for the Guide

Each and every time I reflect on my meetings with Mike, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for the hope and direction that he gave me. I’m also grateful that he didn’t seek to turn me into a disciple of his but instead encouraged me to strengthen my own relationship with God to find and fulfil my purpose. His role as a mentor was to guide.

That pivotal evening in Mike’s home several years ago not only empowered me to reconnect with God, it was also the start of my own journey to becoming a mentor myself in guiding others along their paths of personal transformation. It truly is the best work in the world.

If you would like to create a life of purpose, meaning and fulfilment for your own pursuit of sustainable success then drop me a line: tom@3stewardships.com.

Tune In

You can listen to my podcast, Real Clear Values, through which I tell these and other stories, on the following platforms:

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Finally, if you have any recommendations of who I should invite to come on the Real Clear Values podcast to talk about values – the good, the bad and the ugly – at both individual and organisational levels then please feel free to drop me a line: tom@3stewardships.com.

Tom Englishspirituality, reconnection, God, transformation, mentor, empowermentComment