Human Connection Transcends Tribal Division

During recent years, tribalism is a word that has often been associated with growing contention and division in our societies. Its various fault-lines seem to reach further and deeper than ever. Individual identities are relinquished and then subsumed into collective identities. Hostility towards those in other tribes is excused by claims that they are so much worse, or simply that they deserve it.

There’s little that is more overtly tribal than football in the north of England. As a Leeds fan, I became familiar with the benefits and drawbacks of tribalism from a young age. Its benefits include a sense of community – shared collective identity – as well as shared hopes, experiences and heartaches. As drawbacks, one has to reckon with the way in which those from other clubs (or tribes) are often perceived as enemies and then treated poorly as a result.

Connecting with fellow members of one’s tribe may be seen as indubitably positive, but not at the expense of dehumanising outsiders.

From Enemy to Brother

My dad and I recently went to see Leeds play Middlesbrough (a local derby). I bought us tickets behind the Middlesbrough dugout where we could hear every word that was shouted onto the pitch. There’s always an element of pantomime for those sitting behind the away dugout, as banter, jibes and sometimes vitriol is shouted towards the visiting coaching staff. Middlesbrough’s head coach, Jonathan Woodgate, was a popular player at Leeds during his playing career, so most of the comments towards him were made in jest about how he should have put himself in the team. (Leeds won comfortably, 4-0.)

There was one coach who didn’t get off as lightly as Woodgate on the day, however. It’s common for opposition coaches to jump out of the dugout and protest to the officials when one of their players is fouled or a decision goes against them. It’s then common for the fans behind the dugout to tell them to sit down and shut up! This particular coach became a target for some nasty abuse when he jumped up to complain.

“Sit down you grey-haired ****!” one fan shouted. Another followed up with, “He looks like a nasty ****.” These people didn’t seem to know who he was, other than the fact that he represented “the enemy”. He certainly wasn’t “Leeds”, as some fans still regard Woodgate, so he was seen as fair game for abuse by some.

Reflecting on the experience, I was curious about this particular coach. Besides his tough demeanour and Middlesbrough badge, who was he? A quick Google search taught me that his name is Leo Percovich, he’s from Uruguay and is popular at the club. It didn’t take long for me to find a story that resonated on a human level, transcending any football rivalry.

Leo, as he’s affectionately called by the Middlesbrough fans, and his family were involved in a tragic car accident in Brazil in 2017. His two daughters (aged five and ten) were killed, while he, his wife and his son (now ten) were seriously injured. Leo’s gratitude for the support of Middlesbrough’s fans in the aftermath of his family’s tragedy is deep, as they shone “lights for Leo” during their 2017 Boxing Day game against Bolton and chanted his name.

Reflecting on the tragedy and the support that he and his family received in the aftermath, Leo was quoted in the Hartlepool Mail as follows:

“My family is still recovering, especially at this stage… All the memories coming back but it’s something you can’t avoid in your sleep and all the memories come into your brain. From your heart you want your girls back to you.

“But honestly it’s been very important how the people take care of us in this club, how people take care of us in this town, how the people around the world, our friends, try to keep taking care of us.”

I’m willing to bet that those who shouted abuse at Leo during the game at Leeds wouldn’t have been so quick to do so if they had been aware of his family’s tragedy. I’m also willing to bet that they would have recognised him more as a brother than an enemy if they knew of the suffering he’s endured.

Divinity Within Others

As tribal divisions seem to grow in both scope and depth, it’s important to remember that our humanity and connection as human beings runs deeper than any tribal fault-line.

At the conclusion of each yoga session I attend, the instructor leads the class in saying “namaste”, before bowing with the hands in prayer position over the heart chakra. Namaste is a Sanskrit word which literally means “I bow to you”. It represents the belief that there is divinity within each of us and signifies deep respect for others.

Now, more than ever perhaps, we need to seek for the divinity within both ourselves and each other, beyond the parameters of any group identity or tribe.

If we seek, we will find.

Namaste.