Figuring Out Vs. Understanding.

There’s a huge difference between seeking to understand others and trying to figure them out.

Seeking to understand involves engaging with empathy. There’s no agenda other than to build or improve the relationship.

Figuring out, on the other hand, is done for the purposes of managing, controlling and manipulating. It comes from a place of fear.

When those in authority try to figure others out from a distance, or with guile, they set a tone of distrust and even hostility. It damages relationships throughout the group or organisation.

When they engage with others through empathy, however, they build trust and become leaders instead of mere authority figures.

People, in the long run, will not be controlled. It defies the human spirit to cede autonomy to fearful, uncaring authority figures whose primary motive is the will to power.

When love is the primary motive, control is unnecessary.

When love is the primary motive, the will to grow replaces its nemesis: the will to power.