Want to Find Your Purpose? Ask a Better Question.

Have you ever been envious of someone in your professional life?

That was a question that recently came to mind when I read an article that a friend shared in a WhatsApp group. The article referred to Simon Sinek’s confessed envy of Wharton Professor Adam Grant and his ensuing realisation that a worthy rival can be a source of inspiration for self-improvement.

Whilst I’m not an envious person – I’ve never wished to be anyone other than myself – I thought about instances in which I might have been envious of others in my professional life.

Changing the Question

I spent years at the beginning of my career trying to figure out what my purpose was. I’ve worked for a non-profit, sat on the board of another non-profit, co-founded and run a tech start-up, been an SME business consultant, and worked (which I still do by day) in sales.

As I struggled to find my purpose in my work, though, I felt envious of those who seemed to have found theirs and felt fulfilled in their work. Whilst I have appreciated all of my roles, I was desperate to do work that aligned more directly with my essence, my core values and purpose in life.

The solution to my struggle was found in asking a better question.

I had been asking what my professional path should be in relation to my purpose. Not a bad question per se, but there was fundamental flaw: it was too me-centric. It focused on my path, my purpose and my fulfilment. Finding a new, less me-centric question made all the difference in my quest to do work that’s better aligned with my essence and core values.

The new question was simply:

Who can I serve?

The beauty of this question, besides its simplicity, is that it inherently accounts for my skills, experience, God-given abilities and essence without falling into the trap of me-centricity. Its primary focus is on meeting others’ needs, not on having my own needs met. Crucially, it focuses on the value that I can give to others. It has to – you can’t serve anyone without adding some sort of value! Who, then, is in need of the value that I can offer?

Transcending Envy

Focusing on who I can serve instead of “my path” has transformed how I see the world – it’s given me a much clearer view. And it’s given me a much greater sense of appreciation and gratitude in life. It’s also given me greater success – try being successful for a decent period of time without serving others! I can now see a higher purpose in all of my past and present roles in relation to serving others. Blessings and challenges alike each play their part.

Interestingly, as I continue my mentoring work I’m increasingly finding that those I work with, whether older or younger than me, are facing challenges that I’ve already faced and overcome. Notwithstanding differences in detail, the principles at play are exactly the same!

I’ve learned that there’s no one else in the world who does what I do. No one serves those who I serve in the way that I do. I don’t need to compare or compete with anyone to be motivated to do my work – I need to maintain focus on serving more people, and better than I do now! These realisations have blown away any past feelings of envy.

So, if you’re stuck on the question of purpose, try asking who you can serve instead. You may be surprised by how it can transform your life.