How a Near-Miss Can Leave an Indelible Mark of Gratitude.

It must have looked like a scene from one of those movies about teenage adventure gone wrong. Our car hurtled down a country road, zig-zagging from one side to the other. It was out of control. All I could do was watch, hoping that we didn’t get hit by an oncoming vehicle or crash at speed into one of the many trees at the side of the road. Time really did stand still. And I was powerless to do anything positive to affect the outcome.

My friends and I had been at an all night party, playing a set with our band for teenage revellers at a large parent-free house in the countryside. While the proverbial cat was away, the mice were definitely playing. The significance of one’s decisions in life seemed fairly inconsequential at the party; to think or behave otherwise wouldn’t have been cool. Rock n’ roll, and all that it’s typically assumed to entail, was the vibe. In our zig-zagging vehicle, however, everything, even the smallest detail, was of unquestionable consequence.

As a young boy I’d felt the pain of losing a beloved uncle in his late teens in a car accident; the drunk-driver of the car that he was a passenger in hit the large gatepost of a country field at speed. Whereas the driver of the car that I was in hadn’t been drinking, I was still aware that a fate similar to that of my late uncle was a real possibility.

As my friend wrestled with the steering wheel in trying to regain control of the car, he eventually steered us off the road and down onto the grass verge. I was almost certain that we were going to hit a tree, so I did two things: lifted my legs up to avoid them getting damaged if we did hit a tree at speed; and covered my eyes – I couldn’t watch!

And then suddenly but gently, to my utmost amazement, the car stopped still in its tracks. No crash. No impact. Just sudden stillness. Wow! I was amazed. What had just happened? The first thing I did was to get out of the car and shout in a state of exhilarated gratitude, “WE’RE ALIVE!!!” While I was bellowing like a lunatic in the middle of the countryside, I was genuinely grateful to not only be alive but to be entirely unscathed, too. Neither of us bore a scratch.

The car had gone between two trees on the downward sloping grass verge. What had caused it to stop before it ended up in a fast-flowing river at the bottom of the hill, though? Barbed wire. As the car shot between the two trees, a piece of barbed wire had slid underneath its bonnet (hood), gouging a hole in the bodywork in bringing it to its sudden but gentle stop.

It all might sound like a favourable coincidence, but to me it was much more than that. It was a huge blessing. Another chance to go again – a little wiser with a lot more gratitude for life. (Having walked for some distance back along the road that we zig-zagged down when looking for a way home, we couldn’t have picked a better spot for the car to stop!)

An Indelible Mark of Gratitude

Our near-misses in life can leave indelible marks of learning and experience on us. Following my near-miss in the car, I gained a greater appreciation of the consequence and significance of even the seemingly smaller choices we make in life. That at least negated some of the hedonistic (perhaps even nihilistic) influences of the party environment. Every choice we make in life has a consequence. As Stephen R. Covey put it, “When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.”

The biggest takeaway from my near-miss, however, was an increased sense of gratitude for the most fundamental thing in life – life itself! “Things come to the fore that we took for granted. You start to see the world through the lens of the living,” as the FT’s Andrew Hill (citing a former executive) wrote in a recent article regarding near-death experiences. Through my near-miss experience I, too, saw the world through the lens of the living.

That sort of gratitude can transform both your perspective and your entire life. The fact that we’re alive to experience so much of what life has to offer is a profound blessing that can be all too easy to take for granted. “Count your blessings” isn’t just an irritating platitude, it’s a powerful directive.

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

– Marcus Aurelius

Being reminded of life’s inherent fragility and what it means to be alive can empower us to stride forward in making better, more meaningful, more generous contributions through our best efforts and creativity.

As many in the world suffer the effects of covid-19 and its seemingly innumerable implications, our individual contributions may be needed now more than ever before.

What better way to express, and practice, gratitude for all that we have than to make the best contribution we can in serving those who need it most?